My favorite rejected New Yorker submission
I have an end-of-life patient to whom I spoke today. She burst out laughing and said, “It was all such fun. I just had so much fun.” I wish this for everyone. I wish that we each would meet death laughing, with little regret and even less fear.
companies underestimate how much locking their content behind needing an account will just make me go do something else. oh your website wants me to make an account to view this content? oh your website doesn’t show media to logged-out users? okay. i didn’t actually want to see it that bad. yeah. bye ✌️
Come on Tumblr, don’t be fucking cowards
Alternatively - come on nameless intern #102, you have a chance to be the fucking funniest person on staff.
cowards
Time for manual blazing, tumblr can be a coward but they can’t stop us.
Translation request by @unbridled. English added by me :)
:3
😭😭😭😭
Unfortunately the way to leave the house is just to do it. You gotta put on some bad eyeliner and go to the club alone and talk to no one and get too drunk and cry all the way home because you’re so useless. And then you wake up the next day and realize, “Oh, I guess that wasn’t so bad.” Maybe you do it a few more times just to get the lesson to really stick. And then you’re free. Then you can do anything.
MAY I ASK WHAT A BRUTALIST BUTT PLUG WOULD LOOK LIKE.
greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou:
greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou:
if hello kitty was real we would be bestfriends
me n u or u n hello kitty ?
me and you
one thing about the modern internet that rules is how you can just see a completely unhinged tabloid story, look it up, and find out it’s true because the guy involved bragged about doing it on twitter the night before
A proboscis monkey makes a daring leap into the river below
How to get so sopping wet in one simple step













